book.review: The Regulars by Georgia Clark

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This review is my most liked review on GoodReads…and for good reason. I’m being honest when I say this book is a smogasboard of horrid. There is such a thing as ugly..and it’s this book.

I must have missed something here. I’ve never read a book that has inspired such a bad review and I’m going to try and keep my emotions in check.

I’ve just finished THE REGULARS by Georgia Clark…and I’m pretty mad.


RELEASE DATE: August 2016

PUBLISHER: Atira Books

DISCLAIMER: Novel sent via NetGallery in exchange for a honest review.

SYNOPSIS: Best friends Evie, Krista, and Willow are just trying to make it through their mid-twenties in New York. They’re regular girls, with average looks and typical quarter-life crises: making it up the corporate ladder, making sense of online dating, and making rent.

Until they come across Pretty, a magic tincture that makes them, well…gorgeous. Like, supermodel gorgeous. And it’s certainly not their fault if the sudden gift of beauty causes unexpected doors to open for them.

But there’s a dark side to Pretty, too, and as the gloss fades for these modern-day Cinderellas, there’s just one question left:

What would you sacrifice to be Pretty?

REVIEW: I normally start reviews with a small synopsis of the book told from my point of view. I’m not going to go in depth for this one.

Three girls believe they are ugly. These girls find a miraculous potion that makes them drop-dead beautiful. Three girls struggle with the ramifications of being ‘beautiful’ and leading new lives.

I hated this novel.

There I said it.

I don’t normally hate anything. I can put a good spin on everything. I can’t with this book. I’ve just finished it and I’m angry.

I’m angry that this book has been portrayed as anything feminist in nature. It isn’t. It’s abysmal to think so. The novel barely touches upon the ‘love yourself’ theme that everyone knows is evident after reading the synopsis. This novel is hateful – full of spiteful, uncharismatic, problematic women who are ugly on the inside.

This novel is obscene. Stupid. The execution of the unique plot is done in a method that is so incomprehensibly dumb – the girls take the magical potion to become pretty and then the literally sh*t themselves. Literally. Every time. Apparently this is supposed to be funny. It’s ludacris. The ‘sex scenes’ sound like something about of a parody movie. The unfathomable actions of one character (ahem, using a fellow coworkers spiritual totem as a sex toy) was when I lost my bearings with this novel. Something that could have been so fun and funky has been bogged down with stupidity and poor plot lines.

There are beautiful authors out there struggling to be read and here I am reading this absurdity. I’m angry because I feel I deserved better as a reader. I’ve never written a review like this but I felt compelled today.

Don’t read.

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